WEAR TO BEGIN

so my beautiful and wonderful dear friend charlie hooked me up with her old sewing machine. awesome, right? now i can make all of those super easy things i see everyone else can do easy. i'll just be able to pick it all up and go. these people will never see such an amazing artist with threads flying and fabric and every day i'll create something amazing.

nothing can stop me now!

come round one with my sewing machine, i barely even listened while charlie explained how to thread my new weapon. i got this. i know how to do everything! i will dominate! i will rule the world! everyone will want what i have and they will be jealous so i'll sell it to them and quit my job and everyone will be in awe of how humble i am with my great ability.

i watch charlie make a straight line down my fabric with ease. i got this. this is simple. the easiest thing ever.

then charlie left. she left me alone with my sewing machine. she left me and went to a different state. it's cool. she did it no prob, i can definitely do this.


..... come monday, i'm sitting at my new machine.... well, sitting isn't exactly the correct word here. i'm nestled by my machine which is on a coffee table with the peddle being run by my knee and the fabric drifting off to the side, hanging on the floor. yes, you read that right. i am so awesome i'm controling my new beast with kneeling using my knee for the peddle.

and what did i make? ZIG ZAGS. can you believe it? the great and powerful oz of sewing machines can't even travel in a straight line. if it wasn't a black thread on next to black fabric you'd be getting pictures of this monstrousity. this is my text message to charlie to let her know what a triumph it was:  "you have no idea how awesome my first sewing experience was. picture a line, then zigzAg it a little, then do it a little more. then do it a lot more. now picture me holding the peddle with my knee. awesome."

my lines were complete. i did exactly what i was supposed to. but i still have no idea how people make their lines straight.